Last night started a fire in me as far as who exactly I am, or want to be, as an artist. I have had ideas and thoughts swirling in my ever racing mind of things that I really want to do, but something was holding me back. Fear of looking like a fool. Fear of not being able to create what I was envisioning. Fear of failing miserably. Fear is a powerful thing, and it will stop us from doing all kinds of things that we really want to do. But last night, even though I was nervous and anxious about it, I had a session with Elizabeth and Neil that was 100% out of my normal comfort zone, but something that I genuinely wanted to do.
Let me back up a moment and give you all some background. Around Valentine’s Day, the minister at our church did a sermon series on marriage. It was powerful. It really had me step back and think about a lot of things going on in my own marriage. And most importantly, it made ME want to make some changes to better serve and honor Justin. It is a continual work in progress, some days much better than others, but I am much more aware of our relationship and my role in our marriage. It was kind of like a wake up call. And I am very thankful that I was there to get the call.
Shortly after this sermon series, I left for WPPI in Las Vegas – which is a huge photography conference. The top person on my list to hear speak was Jesh de Rox. My roomies and I were not going to miss him. We got up very very early that morning because Jesh started at 8 am. We were at the door by 7 am and guess where we got to sit? Front row! We were just a touch eager and excited to hear him speak. :) What happened inside of me during the 2.5 hours that Jesh spoke is not really something that I am able to put into words. The gift of being an eloquent writer is not really my thing. But I will tell you that I left that room energized, inspired, and with a new lease on life. Yes, all of that happened to me in a short 2.5 hours. All 750 people in the room laughed and cried together as we listened to this amazing person begin to tell us how he wants to change the world, one couple at a time. If you have never taken the time to go through Jesh’s portfolio, please do yourself a favor and it is right this second. Then come back and finish reading, of course!
Jesh is starting his own Beloved movement. What he is doing is beyond amazing. He is taking married couples, and getting them to refocus on one another and the love that they have for one another. He is capturing this genuine, very real emotion through amazing portraits of the couple. The way he is able to get people to open up and be real is a genuine gift from God. And because he is so inspired by what he started to discover through these couples, he is sharing it with the world through his Field Guide (which is maybe the most beautiful thing I have ever laid my eyes on) and his workshops. And guess who gets to go to one of his workshops??? MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!! And I am going with someone who has become a very dear friend, Jessica! I cannot wait to absorb every tidbit that Jesh has to share for three whole days. I know, with certainty, that I will leave that workshop a different person. A more inspired, more real, and more true to myself person. And that sounds incredible to me.
Until I heard Jesh in Las Vegas, if you would have asked me if couples photography was something I would ever consider getting into, I would have scrunched my face up and told you NO WAY! Kids are my specialty. I can be silly and ridiculous with them. I can chase them and play games with them. Not adults. No sir. Too stiff, too awkward, too weird. Plus, I would be so self conscious that they were thinking I was the one who was the huge dork. But because of Jesh, I am letting go of those fears and thoughts. I now see that I can be silly and play games, even with grown ups. And maybe, just maybe, they will have fun with it! If I can help a couple focus 100% on each other for an hour or so and rediscover their love and appreciation of one another, I am in. The world needs more of this. We need more love and less divorce. I hope that I can encourage couples to see the true beauty in one another and just appreciate it. All of it.
So, I kind of conned this darling couple into being a test shoot for me. I needed to know if I could do this. Was I going to be able to let go and do this thing? It will definitely be a work in progress. I know that I will evolve and become more comfortable the more I do it, which in turn does nothing but make the couple even more comfortable. But for my first real Beloved session, I have to say, a few of these images made my eyes well up with tears. I think that some day Elizabeth and Neil will have kids that will love to look at these and will see the fresh and genuine love that they have for one another. And that, my friends, is all I can ask for. Enjoy.
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